Blue clouds and pretty skies:)

2011-01-20T10:41:00.002+08:00

started ended
sec1 2004 :) :( due to unforeseen circumstances
sec2 2005 :( D: due to even more unforeseen circumstances
sec3 2006 :) :D because most of e ppl were sweet
sec4 2007 :) :) because e ppl were sweet but it was stressful due to O Levels
J1 2008 :) :D because e ppl were nice and i felt good, and I tried many new things
J2 2009 :S D: because i completely lost myself and couldn't stand up, and was going berserk from stress.
Work 2010 :] :) because i worked hard and earned some blood sweat money

2011 Starts as :D And I know this is my year. This year, I'll work doubly hard so tt I won't panick when exam comes. Moreover it's my 19th year, I'll make sure it'll be a great one. Hopefully I can have a good 20th birthday party~

My resolutions:
1. Be more confident, stop being over-sensitive or insecure, I wna find back my smile.
2. Work hard consistently
3. Be a nice, sweet and happy reindeer; bear no grudge, have a kind heart

2010-11-08T22:51:00.002+08:00

秋天的一个傍晚, 我带着失落的心情独自坐在空无一人的小公园里, 吹着风. 突然感觉像是从垦丁回来; 脑袋变得清醒得多, 紧绷的精神变得很好, 烦乱的心情也变得平静.

2010-10-31T00:43:00.000+08:00

与世推移真的是只有厉害的人才做得到的！

2010-10-18T23:27:00.001+08:00

如果爱情是盲目的、疯狂的，那有所保留的心所感受的是否是爱？你宁愿冒险跌个遍体鳞伤？

2010-09-23T13:34:00.002+08:00

有时候我会讨厌自己.. 为什么不爱说话? 为什么常常让人误会自己? 不过今天突然发觉, 我就是我自己, 试着避免误会的产生是重要的.. 但是有些无法撇清的事情, 我虽然有努力地原谅和安慰自己, 但是还是没办法完全原谅自己的愚蠢.. 但是我知道我是个怎样的人.. 只要有更多的时间, 我想这些误会一定会化解的.. 所以我不要那么苛责自己.. 也不要因此封闭自己的灵魂.. 因为他们认为的都只是在搞不清楚状况的情形下做出的判断.. 要是被过去捆绑着, 就会容易失去现在.. 那现在就变成以后的遗憾.. 这样持续下去.. 一生不都是遗憾吗？我不会允许自己创造自己的悲剧的.. 犯错没关系.. 要学.. 最讨厌犯同样的错误..

2010-09-08T15:14:00.000+08:00

Because of this person's singing, i think i'm not so scared of 《我无所谓》 anymore!~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHf10IzRCUo&feature=related

2010-08-28T18:21:00.001+08:00

Hoho, boonie, tmr's e orientation.. haha.. so just go and have fun! yay~ whee~ be a happy bird! :D

2010-08-09T15:13:00.005+08:00

I wanna change my hairstyle.. haha.. but dunno should change until what kind lei? haha..

Cut it shorter? Or highlight a little? haha.. Should I perm my hair? Or should I try out those hairstyles tt's longer in front and shorter at the back? Opinions pls? Or maybe I should just let it grow until really long and then perm it.. haha.. Maybe the last one hor? Since I've been cutting it the previous months..

Anw, today is National Day! So, Happy Birthday Singapore!~ I love you, Singapore!:D

I honestly feel that I'm very fortunate to be borned in Singapore.. There's a great emphasis on education, we put racial harmony on a high note, and there're progressions in many areas like technology, medical and fashion and all.. And the peace that we own here in SG is really something we ought to be proud of.. But of course, as we've always been reminded of, we can't take all these for granted.. The People is one of our greatest resources, and so if we take things for granted; ain't responsible for our speech &actions, or rely too much on the government or others for their own progressions, I guess we'd be progressing at a really slow rate, or perhaps, could we be even falling backwards?

But all in all, I'm elated that this is Singapore's 45th Birthday, and I hope everyone of us Singaporeans, PRs and foreigners would rejoice and feel proud of Singapore. :)

Our people's put in so much and we've come so far.. So let's celebrate today whether u're at home watching the parade on tv, or outside enjoying yourself~

Happy 45th Birthday Singapore! *Loves*

xoxo,
Boonie

2010-06-27T20:13:00.001+08:00

Oh, to add on, i havent read a good novel kinda book for so long!(Have been reading more of self help and practical books!) I hope Eat, Pray, Love would be the perfect book for me! Take me to Italy and India~~

2010-06-27T19:41:00.002+08:00

Hey hey blogger~~ sorry i hadnt spent time here for quite some time><
u can put the blame on fb and my new need for higher privacy, which led to my starting to write in a diary..
You know, I've finally found the joy of writing in a diary. Last time when i tried to write in a diary, e attempts all didnt last.. cos e diarys are too cute and i have to control my handwriting when i write on a nice piece of paper so tt i won't spoil it(tho e handwriting's still messy. HA.).. Or else it'd be tt i didnt really understand the principle tt u've got to write it in ur own style, ur own creative way, and not forcing urself to write in the format of those novel diaries and all...(which i cldn't grasp previously) But anw e joy of writing a diary is tt u can organise and understand ur thoughts better, and u don't have to restrict urself so much on what u write, cuz it's ur own book and u dun have to care about how others look at u. Recently i feel tt my thoughts are getting more clear and calm.. less childish too.. i feel.. and i think it's a pretty good thing..

I guess working is a really good thing too.. U get to learn more experiences; see realism and the act of human nature, and different ppl handling different situations on hand differently, be it tricky or not. BUT. the bad thing is i feel im slowly losing touch with ENGLISH. oh no. oh dear. tt's bad tt's bad. Better start reading up!

Oh yea, and recently im also in love with English romance kinda songs like Stars.. And these 2 words popped up in my mind while i was listening to my music on the streets today.. Here it goes..

"Hopelessly Romantic"

maybe i heard it somewhere in my life but can't remb whr i heard it from.. But well, it's a perfect combination tt emits a kind of light somehow(: Sweeet. I like;)

OK. ~ tt's all folks!~

HAHA.

love,
boonie

2010-05-19T04:32:00.003+08:00

Instead of saying outloud how i feel right at this moment, how do you think i should feel right now, waking up in the middle of the night at 4.29, staring at the screen in the chilling wind in my kitchen.

Idk, i actually woke up from a nightmare.. but that led some unhappy memories to my mind.. well, what can i say, this type of timing is just perfect for such memories to visit.

Well, i'd say, i've always been the type of person who'd try my best to get something that i want if i really really want it. Not to the extent that it'd be foolishly hurting someone, but the largest extent would be what i say fair competition irregardless of any other points.

Maybe you don't know what i'm talking about cuz it sounds too jumbled and complicated.. Putting it straight, let's just say for example if there's a guy that i really really like, i'd put away my dignity and 'chase' after this person until i get an answer that i want. even if things are complicated, like for example there's another girl who also happens to be a closefriend to this guy and likes him too. this is called fair competition. and of course i dun do these things without thinking it through. So long as the strong emotions and my determinations are present, i'd let myself go through what needs to be gone through to reach my destination even though i know it might (or would definitely) hurt myself in the process, or that it could end badly in a sense that things would be awkward. Just because i dun like to let things that i cherish to go past my life without putting in my best efforts to make it stay. And if i know that someone isn't suitable for me, i wouldnt delay his time, no, cos it wouldn't be fair for him, and i wouldnt want someone who likes me to be more miserable if i let question marks to be dragged on. it's selfish. this is me; very stubborn. i guess it's both good an bad. haha, what am i talking about. yes, everything has its own qualities and bad points yup.

Oh yea, but right now recalling these bad memories that's falling down from the sky like snowflakes is just plain painful. but hah! i chose it; i made these decisions in the past, and i remember me telling myself clearly that even if things doesnt work out the way i want it to be, i shouldnt be unhappy, and i should let go of it like letting sands fall from my hand; allowing it to be gone with the wind of fate and moving on happily becos i know i've tried.

this is what i want to tell the ppl whom it may concern in these fragments of memories:

Memory 1: I'm sorry; but i hate you too.
Memory 2: I'm sorry; i was just having problems with my confidence back then. it wasnt an attitude against you or anything. i know i've hurt you, i'm sorry& i didnt mean to do it. like i said, i wouldnt want someone who likes me to be hurt.
Memory 3: Were you just treating things in life a game? I dun like to play games, sorry. I had loved you, but now i see things clear, and i hate you.
Memory 4: I dun know what made me did these, but i guess it could be the strong emotions. I'd say, if time turns back, i'd nv have joined the club and make myself miserable like shit; spending my time and energy on something as useless as this. maybe i could have done better in As without this crapshit. i think i was like blind or something.
Memory 5: Sorry, it's not any of your faults, i admit it now. I'm angry, but i'm in fact angry with just my foolish self. i shouldnt have let appearances affect my own confidence, or i should have done something to save myself from the crapshits instead of seein myself literally falling helplessly. You know why i love JC the most amongst pri, sec and college? In primary school, we get pushed around by ppl because of our own innocence and fears. In secondary school we get pushed around by certain* people because we care too much for the wrong things; because of pressure, and because of inconfidence. In college, it's a brand new environment, and we get to start anew with life. it all began happily, until J2 when things started to go downhill, with all the problems clashing down at one frigging go. My own sudden lack of confidence that made me feel like redrawing from everyone; problems with friends; problems with studies.. I guess these are enough to drain myself spiritually. & i guess my changes were rather obvious.
Memory 6: What did u mean? i don't understand at all.. But nonetheless, thank you for the fragments of happy memories..:) and i'm sorry for some things too.

Sometimes i kinda don't understand myself.. sometimes it just feels like everything is your own fault. But after thinking through the stuffs once more, you'd know that, No! it's not like it's all your damn fault. you don't have to be so harsh with yourself. girl, it's like you're blaming yourself for all the things that went wrong.. when things shouldnt be like that at all. sure, u are partly at fault, but u've blamed yourself enough, even more than how much you should. what can we do now that all's said and done. So yea, it's time to move on with the white christmases. haha.. and don't be so foolish next time. Be resilient, and be practical with solutions, and be clear minded. haha. 当局者迷，旁观者清。医人比医自己困难。有时候我知道自己在无理取闹，但是当下可能其实我只是想要我在乎的人多关心一下我。虽然这种无理取闹的情绪带来的问题比安慰多。但算了。随风去吧。

2010-04-29T00:56:00.000+08:00

我看见了好脆弱的爱情.. 又或许我看到的并不是真正的爱情, cuz love is true and strong.

应该改口说: 好虚伪的人啊.................

怎么会这样呢?

2010-04-16T00:37:00.004+08:00

Today's a fine day~ Not really in terms of weather! but in terms of mood and all.. Went out with Maira to Orchard.. We were looking for Cathay Cineleisure.. But were unsure of its location haha.. Orchard-痴.. But we saw the Shaw house so anw we went there.. Initially tot there werent anymore 'Remember Me' movie.. but turned out Shaw house was still playing it:D So we bought the 2.15 tickets.. It was only 1++ when we reached the place.. So we chatted and got some bubble tea while waiting.. Each -a-cup's bubble tea is sUper sweeet can.. i didnt manage to finish it.. and the pearls were SupEr chewy.. too chewy for me.. haha..
And so we the time passed and we went for the movie.. My rating for the movie.... 1.5Stars.. haha.. My god the movie was boring. hahaha.. except for the last part that made me cry.. the rest was... like.. no climax.... haha.. Maira was rather interested in Shutter Island which i think is SCARY. haha.. by leonardo dicarprio.. well anw.. back to the movie.. I was rather restless thruout.. haha.. but well.. managed to sit thru it! i tot i'd cry for the movie.. and indeed i did.. luckily i wiped off my eyeliner b4 entering the cinema.. cuz it's non-waterproof.. haha..
Later we went shopping~She bought a top, while I bought some stockings and a wallet from Mango:D A brown leather wallet.. haha.. shall show some pics below.. first time buy stuff from mango.. wakakaka.. >:D abit Sua Gu. HAHA. oh well.

Btw, i'm rewatching... Totoro!:D
Super CUTE. my next fav after inuyasha^^ Dun wry.. i still love inuyasha:D

Gdnight~ tml there's work. boo.. nvm.. i'm working till end of this month onlY.~~

2010-04-10T01:07:00.002+08:00

Let's just throw away those lil lil troubles and listen to the sounds at night. Right now, I dun wanna think about anyone, anything, regarding the past, the present or the future. No nth at all. absolutely, totally, zero, none, nah, zilch.

2010-04-06T22:31:00.003+08:00

Told my boss I'd work till the end of this month.. He is the NICEST boss I've ever met(Not that i have had alot of bosses) But yea, u get what i mean:) I'm sort of in a dilemma.. I wna work but i'm sick of working.. But after reading some biographies, i feel like challenging myself to earn more money for the company through some new experiments.. I'm actually a very ironic person.. Or is everyone like that..? e.g. I'm confident, yet insecure. Dno what's wrong with me either.. I'm a very independent person(at least to a large extent), yet i'm very dependent on ppl, in a sense that sometimes i need ppl's recognisions and approvals when i do something. Sometimes this can be tiring. It can be good in a way whereby i'm polite to ppl and i know the basic ways to treat ppl. dun be surprised that nowadays not much ppl noes how to treat others with basic courtesy anymore, let alone go the extra mile without being asked to do so. In my opinion, this society is very much self-centred and self-contradictory. The way i have become moulded by this society is NEgative. U dun feel happy and great if u dun have ur own mindset and thinking AND the ability to open ur mind to listen to others' opinions at a neutral stand. i dun noe. i just feel that it'd be a disaster to leave ur fate in the hands of the society cuz ppl are selfish and u won't get what u want even if u worked hard for it, unless u do it smart. Well, anyway, i hope i'm on the right track towards my life destination now. There're afew obstacles in my sight right now which i'm sure i haVe to get rid if i want to breakthrough this vicious cycle in front of me. but it's gna hurt if i'm gna throw this away. It's like asking a rich woman to throw away her precious diamond in order to grant her a wish that would be better for her life. HAH. what an analogy. whatever. something like that.. I remember the days in J1 when everything were new, and i could be myself, and everything were good,& ppl were nice. I loved it. i could do what i want and i even stepped out of my comfort zone to host for afew events.. where some were mediocre performances, and some were fantastic. Wish I'd have the chance to live such a life again. Maybe i should open up my mind and sort out what i want again.

Soliloquy:
*******Slowly we recognize and some sorta know who will be there for long, no matter what happens. let's be contented with what we have, even if it weren't expected; even if part of the truth hurts. cuz this is life and reality. Don't let someone else's heck care become a burden on ur shoulders, cos they dun even care in the first place ya?*********

2010-03-30T00:24:00.002+08:00

我决定了. 不管结果如何, 我是不会再重考了. 如果进不了大学, 那么我就要去追逐我自己的梦想了.

我是独立的个体, 我根本就不是什么脆弱的小鸟, 也绝不允许这个社会改变我的本质.

终于找到自己了. 好开心. 从今天起, 我会变得更强壮. 我要抱着希望和勇气活着. 我不喜欢看着别人的脸色, 心惊胆战地活着. 我是能够飞翔的. 那为什么要让这社会的看法放弃那片属于我自己的天空? 我知道只要我想做, 我就一定能做到. 只要给我时间和鼓励.

我要突破了.不管走在哪一条路, 我都要突破一切. 这才像我. 才像自信坚强的我.

2010-03-29T21:14:00.002+08:00

what momo said is true.. It's better to have a few true friends than alot of fine weather friends.

Wad is friendship? This is a tough question.

Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.
* Elbert Hubbard

My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, you've had a great life.
* Lee Iacocca

It's no good trying to keep up old friendships. It's painful for both sides. The fact is, one grows out of people, and the only thing is to face it.
* W. Somerset Maugham

Friendship is constant in all other things
Save in the office and affairs of love.
* William Shakespeare

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can by trying to get other people interested in you." -- Dale Carnegie

"You can hardly make a friend in a year, but you can easily offend one in an hour." -- Chinese Proverb

"It is the friends that you can call at 4 A.M. that matter." -- Marlene Dietrich

"A friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself." -- Frances Ward Weller

Friends are born, not made.
* Henry Adams

"To know someone here or there with whom you can feel there is understanding in spite of distances or thoughts expressed ~ That can make life a garden."
-Goethe

"A friend is a gift you give yourself."
-Robert Louis Stevenson

What is frendship? What is love?

2010-03-18T19:06:00.002+08:00

Somehow i feel, some of the best qualities a human can have are: sincerity, appreciativeness, intelligence, health& courage... Wad do you think?
Oh yes, and looks. oops.. superficial much.. but still i think it's still rather important... in this superficial world.
Anw, i've just realised, the easiest way to get some quick happiness is to shop.. haha.. It feels so good to get the stuffs that you want, feeling that u've put in the efforts to work and thus you deserve it:) Currently hooked up with Hula& Co. clothes.. and some of Charles and Keith stuff:o)

Let's make our lives more meaningful and happier by sorting out of mind and deciding which and who are the important things and people in our lives. I shall stop clinging onto stuff that slowly but will gradually suck out my energy. Life's short:)

Btw! went to visit the National museum today! Visited the Quest for Immortality Egypt artefacts exhibition.. Very interesting! Should go walk around if u're free too.. Students' admissions are free.. I went w my sis.. But now still not student so have to pay $16:X Then went Orchard and Amk hub to do some shopping:) haha.. Buaiz~

2010-03-09T00:11:00.002+08:00

Feel like buying a watch.. but can't bear to part with my $$!~ haha.. wait till i really need it ba! If wna buy, buy a good one:) Got influenced y e Vagary advertisments at the City Hall MRT.. haha.. Everyday have to see the advertisements twice.. It feels like i'm reading e catalogue when i walk pass the ads.. haha.. Very pretty watches they have! haha!

2010-03-08T00:36:00.004+08:00

Wahseh... Just watched 妻子的诱惑.. Frigging blood boiling... It's partly because of this kind of man that's why woman must be more independent and strong.. Sometimes even stronger than them.. Just to protect ourselves.. Haiz.. This Encai.. so poor thing.. IF I WERE HER! I'd have divorced at the 10th episode.. She still can tahan till episode20++... Haha.. siao ady me.. Her in- laws are lyk frigging BAD can. and she's so naive.. I think mean in-laws are such a tragedy.. I had a colleague who had mean in-laws.. So poor thing.. came from cambodia and still have to tolerate such treatments.. Think foreigners so good to push around isit..? Next time they had better experience themselves being ALONE in a foreign country almost permanently.. See if they still dare to treat ppl so mean >:D hehe.. Haiz.... so poor thing............

Oh yes! JIAYI! *waves like mad back* HAHA. thanks for reading, and thanks for your advice! Actually i didnt give up psychology! I just wanted more time to confirm if what i want IS really psychology.. so tt i won't regret my choice! haha.. But now dno whether can anot.. Pray for me!:D

2010-03-06T11:25:00.001+08:00

Oh well, i had insomnia last night.. till 2a.m. at least.... God, can't sleep without my worries bugging me..

2010-03-05T21:15:00.003+08:00

If anyone still bothers to read my stagnant blog, and happens to also wonder how i fared for A Levels, here's my results.. Not veh gd.. But if u're dying to know..

Chinese Lit B
Maths C
Econs C
Mother tongue B
Project work A
General Paper C
General studies in chinese C

D:!

haha.. oh well.. wad can i do? it's fixed ady.. Hope i can get into Psychology... Pray for me ya..

quite disappointed about maths and CLL and GP and GSC..Expected A for CLL, A or B for GSC and GP, and hoped for a B for maths.. yikes.

But one of the best thing is to get a C for econs.. PHEW. srsly. I expected a D man. luckily lor..

I have actually not much of an idea of what i should apply for Uni.. or NIE?? It's either Psychology or English at NIE i think.. haha.. u must be shocked to see the word English.. but yea i like english alot.. GP was one of my better subjects back in sch.. E essay writing part.. it's always e compre that pull me down.. same for Chinese.. Love writing argumentative essays.. I think this time it's oso e compre tt pulled me down ba.. haiz..

Actually i dun have any idea what i should study de.. I just can't make up my mind.. but.. jus now when i look at the websites again, i realise i can fall asleep reading the contents of teaching for some of the courses, but not so for psychology.. I can even smile.. It's really very interesting.. Don't discourage me.. I have enough ppl discouraging me from taking psychology ady.. My parents, my sis, my friends.. but srsly, that's e only thing that i want to learn more about, up to the level of professionalism.. I know it's not easy, i nv said it's easy. But if it's something i lyk, it would be much more satisfying and suitable for me right? If there's anything u want to tell me about, pls speak in a more neutral and 'concrete facts' kind of manner.. What i need is facts and not merely opinions..Tell me more about it, and let me decide it myself.. And dun say things to me lyk: 'Then u go and take lor!' to me.. Cuz it's obviously insincere and sarcastic and it brings us to no whr but misery..

Nyways, i just had the urge to send my applications in to apply for the courses that i want.. then can stop thinking about all these.. it's so exhausting and tiring to make all these important decisions.. I hope i'll get into NUS... i hope.....

Tml have to work again.. I'll prolly go have a late night visit to esplanade again the day after tml.. It's great to sit under the night sky, in the open space, and look at the river and city lights and the lights coming from the buildings.. veh colourful.. And u can think about wad u want to do, sort your mind out, and all.. Or u can just stare into space and not think about anything.. I like e peace over there.. Very comforting.. except sometimes u'll hear some bunches and groups making loud noises nearby.. But it's alright, it's quite safe there.. There're police patrolling around the place...

Oh ya.. i havent book the tickets for Sarah Chang's concert.. and i haven't register for my dance class.. damn it.. if i dun register by next week, i think i'll ask shermaine to teach me piano.. I want to learn something new!!!!!! Though my new love is violin..

Alright.. that's about all for today.. Cheerios.. I think the most important thing we can do now is to be resilient and move on, and see what we can do next.. Though it's definitely easier said than done.. Jiayou..

2010-03-01T23:39:00.002+08:00

Haven't really update my blog for quite long.. Let's talk.. haha..

I'm currently working at Nails Nirvana, with 2 great bosses, and nice colleagues.. Oh well, not a fine weather day everyday, but it's still quite alright:) Good pay, and pretty good environment.. But no, i'm not a manicurist.. I'm a promoter.. haha.. I might just change my job to manicurist in mid May... so anw, life has been busy.. all about work, work and more work.. But good thing it's quite enjoyable.. just that sometimes it's abit tiring..

E best thing to do is to go shopping on my off day, and watch tv after my work:D haha.. currently i'm watching 妻子的诱惑.. got attracted to it while i was at my workplace.. haha.. they have a huge tv there.. weekdays 7pm... quite nice! About this woman whose husband fell for her best friend; they betrayed her and tried to kill her.. but it didn't work out, and they didn't know.. She was saved and went back as such a beautiful woman that nobody could recognise, and took her revenge.. Korean drama..

Anw, really hope e kbox session will be on on thursday.. I need to vent some of my frustrations! And do my facial:D haha.. my current working company does facial too:)
Omg, Friday could be our results taking day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't believe it man.. Dunno wad to do if anything bad happens.. choy choy.. Prolly go NIE ba.. or poly.. HMM....... dno la.. Pray hard.. & hope for e best.. 12am liaoz.. gtg zzZ..

Good night world, sweet dreams..

2010-02-28T01:43:00.003+08:00

很失望. 原来我的付出是注定了这样的结果.. 太可笑了.. 哈哈..

没想到, 当别人需要帮助时, 会付出全力、努力帮助他人的我，换来的没有丝毫感激，还被遗忘，还被抛弃。

2010-02-28T00:29:00.001+08:00

I'm gonna watch e sarah chang's violin concert! i mean it!!

2010-02-14T21:17:00.001+08:00

adfslxdawsievol? haha.

2010-02-08T23:52:00.002+08:00

Though im kinda lag, Still i wna say...

我要看《风声》！

It was out last year.. The actors and actresses were lyk e nominees for 金马奖.. whether they got e award or not idk.. cos i dun follow award kinda ceremonies and all.. PLUS! my fav actress 周迅 got act inside.. so i wna watch.. 苏有朋 from 情深深雨蒙蒙、黄小明 from 新上海滩 etc etc!

2010-01-31T22:24:00.002+08:00

Displeased about being forgotten. :( Tho i didnt expect returns when i cared, offered advices, was there for him/her when he/she need it, i didnt expect evrything to be so easily forgotten too. Srsly, such a feeling sucks. Feeling lyk what u've done for a close friend wasn't even worth a conclusion in his/ her life. sucks. sianz.

2010-01-30T23:45:00.004+08:00

I've put up some new songs:D First one is Chris Daughtry's "Open Up Your Eyes".. I love this song alot.. I listen to it when i'm angry, sad, frustrated or need to destress.. haha.. I kinda lyk its lyrics.. It's really nice, and i'd kinda tear up abit when i listen to its lyrics carefully.. Though it's just fictional.. I mean u can't possily agree with the lyrics cos it's just not right.. It's not as if one would be better if they die.. Suicide COUld be understandable, but it's never RIGht. I would never say tt suicide is a right decision. NEVer. No matter how tough things are, how much i feel lyk just banging the wall.. haha.. I think i'm still resilient and logical enough to seek solution; not end my life or what.. yea.. Btw, I really like Chris Daughtry alot.. I love e songs he sing, though i've only heard Over you, Spetember and this song.. Over You accompanied me through a period of time and gave me the strength and movtivation to discover myself, which is the stronger, better me right now. Different from the weakling in sec school. His voice is full of strength and he sings with emotions.. *heart*

Welp, anws, e second song is Olivia's I'll move on.. It's a touching song though i ain't christian.. But somehow, sometimes, though the lyrics are positive, i still feel abit sad listening to it.. haha..

The rest are some of the songs i had put up last time.. yep...

Anw, Thurs I went to AMK, Bugis, and Far East altogether.. But the most surprising thing is that I didn't buy anything except and Indian slippers and a pair of ear studs.. Really simple and elegant one... Slippers i bought from Amk hub Code Red.. $26.30 after discount.. very bling..! Their clothes oso very nice=) haha.. and studs from watts in..$17 bucks.. quite exp.. but i lyk..

Anw, one lesson that i had learnt today is, Never look down on customers. A Five dollar service could turn into a $10, then a $20, then a $320! Wow, yea? Srsly, i wasn't even pleased to serve him at first cuz he spoke broken English.. sory for being superficial.. my bad:( But he was very generous.. He asked about the strawberry nose thing... I told him 5 bucks.. then turned out to be 10 bucks.. But he didn't even so much Blink an eye when he took out e 10 bucks notes fr his wallet.. Then later i pushed him for e 3 in 1 nose package.. And again, he didnt blink when he took out another 10.. Well The beautician made him get e facial package of $300.. I dun noe if he did at least blink perhaps once this time.. hahaha.. But yea, tt's my lesson learned today..!

********************************************
And i just wna mention, a publicised self note, that regarding something i once regretted in the past, that It wasn't, and would never be a mistake for my decision made. I promise. Albeit the fact that it was a rash decision made out of guilt and kindness(somehow), now that i think about it months later, i've decided tt it wasnt a wrong decision, and i wouldnt regret about it no more=) Yup, tt's about it..

Bye!

2010-01-14T21:45:00.004+08:00

I never knew that looking for jobs could be such a troublesome and hard task until now. haha.

anw, i'm such a big head. i didnt put up e music bar the last time i tot i did. haha. so, sorry, & enjoy. haha.. srsly i wonder how many actually reads my blog.. haha.. nvm.. self entertain!=) hahaha..

Anw, i have a new idol: (晏) 彭于晏~~~~~~~~~:DDDD

Super duper cute. i love his character in 《蜂蜜幸运草》.. Very funny, very weird, but kind and smart. 超有性格！

Anw, recently, im up to::::
Country Story!
&
新上海滩！

haha.. yes.. lagg again.. country story's been up for such a long time.. but i've only started playing it like... yest or the day before.. hope i'll level up soon!:D

新上海滩 is such an AWESOME drama. better than many other shows today... It has depth, suspense, violence, romance, realism, gd looking men& women.. everything is good. haha.. go watch if u're free ba! I'm gna watch now.. bye!

2010-01-09T22:03:00.001+08:00

New songs!

hahaha. not new la. but still nice~

Fallin for you- colbie calliat
Lucky- Jason Mraz& colbie c.
Sorry sorry- Super junior

:DD

Enjoy~

P.S. 蜂蜜幸运草 is damn nice!

2010-01-06T21:56:00.003+08:00

There's something wrong with blogger anD my keyboard.. so irritating.. anw, sorry for the late reply to priya and heng heng's comments! gomen-ne! hehe.

To priya!: Yes, u're absolutely right..! i need an open roof top to stargaze! koala knows me very well!:DDD

Heng heng world!: yea! i'll go to the open house.. but do you know when it'll be held? & im also considering accounting but i have noo idea wad it's all about.. wad they learn and all... do u? tell me more! Thanks for the advices!:)))

I wish i can work in the police force, navy, army, air force next time. totally cool.

Anw, i've watched Avatar..! haha.. somehow, i've got the same feeling towards it as i have for Titanic.. I dun worship them.. but i think they're nice.. I especially like the fact that it's got a huge portion of it screened in real life in forests, new zealand etc.. It'll e so cool to be in such a beautiful forest IF u know u'll be safe.. hahaha..

Anw, the new wardrobe will be delivered here tml~ so eggciting!

Gna watch you-tubey. Buaiz~ ;)

2010-01-05T16:20:00.002+08:00

Hey........... Was I conned???

I never thought I'd have the chAnce to even think thrice on such issues. But right now the situation is, i actually signed some forms and decided on opening an account for savings.. WELL, the person said he was from POSB. But now idk. ZZZZZZZ. terrile right? How? I really duno how.

I went back to the place to see if they were still there today, but they weren't. So i told e customer service counter about it and they said they'd contact me again tml. and i called many banks and insurance companies to check if they had such promotions and policies. but to no avail that is. sucks.

I'm gonna wait for afew more days for them to send me anymore information. I think it's probably some insurance company. I hope so. I have no documents, no idea wad's his name, no idea wad's their company. If he was a conman, i hope he'd just take e 70 and leave me alone. Wad i'm worried about the most is the stuff i signed and thumbprinted. I was sO STUPID. man. I srsly DON't know what got to me that day cuz i'm usually very careful about such stuffs. Pray for me ya? u duno how worried I am. I'll probably create a new account and transfer my acct money.

Does anyone know anything like tt? I wasn't the only one who signed e stuff.. There were quite alot of ppl if im not wrong. It was at Tiong Bahru anw.

I hope it is an insurance company only. That way i can cancel my plan. Wad else can i do?

I think i've turned dumb. Have I? Oh god.

2009-12-30T00:09:00.002+08:00

Ten things I like about anything or myself:
1. Fairytale romance
2.Ralph Lauren
3. Vintage
4. Taking scenic/ abstract photos
5. Drawing/ painting
6. Playing Cello
7. Reading self help books
8. Watching taiwanese romance drama(there's just a really nice tingling feeling when i watch them.. haha)/ Inuyasha/ 康熙来了/ Xmen(or similar shows like.. avatar?)
9. Writing essays
10. The wind, the nature.. Mother earth<3

2009-12-29T22:06:00.004+08:00

康熙来了 is really a damn funny, witty variety show.. & i guess it's kinda bcos of how S& kang can manage to bring out the 'truths' in ppl tt attracts ppl.. lol.. && anw, I like 蝴蝶姐姐! hahaha.. She's sooo cute and sweet.

Anw! Music therapy is really good. Such an easily influenced person like me, it's much easier to be healed by music. haha.. sad songs makes me depressed, rainy days makes me sad, high songs makes me filled with joy; and fine days makes me alive. SOO easily influenced. Is anyone e same as me? I thought i'd be e only one who becomes depressed any-o-how when e bathroom is dim.. but sherlyn and her cousin turned out to be the same!:) So i guess i'm not alone.. lolx. (PL always 提醒 me about it.. haha..)

Anw, 2009 is coming to an end, I guess i should do some sort of a conclusion about my JC life. haha..

Well, 2008 was a fabulous year I'd say. It was filled with sooo much fun and great stuff i nv thought would happen to me. It's a year when i came out of my comfort zone, and tried many neeww stuff tt's fun~ Like being able to be myself, being more daring to speak out, and enjoying my school life very much. I got to be emcee for C.O& guitar concert, wed espresso(tho this one wasnt very well.. hahaha.) volunteered as helper for some sch events, joined e slacking IT club, got to learn chinese literature, GSC& GP which made me very happy. I didnt appreciate maths and econs that much until my second year. Anw, Chinese lit.. it may sound very cheena yes, but i guess it really takes some passion and patience to appreciate it. I wouldnt blabber about its greatness here.. haha.. dun wry. GSC&GP-- they taught me how to argue, e logic behind a written argument, and i finally got to force myself to read and find out about singapore, about the society, and to learn some facts and figures, that in my opinion is rather important. I appreciate the beauty behind writing an essay.

What i like about econs is.. It helps me to know more about the economic terms, the structure, policies, and their usage, which i like alot because i can relate to them and understand some related newspaper reports. (though im still kinda weak) But i feel i've learned something i'd remember for the rest of my life.. and that makes me happy..

As for maths.. it's kind of complicated. I love maths, and i hate maths. If not for my own sluggishness and laziness in J1, haha.. I think i wouldnt have had hated maths some time in J2.. hahaha.. cuz i realised i forgot tremendous amount of stuff i've learned, and at that time, there was a need for me to dedicate the precious time on econs, for i had wasted my J1 econs lessons learning close to nothing. I would blame my J1 econs teachers, and myself for this. Cuz they didnt teach us how to study econs.. and i didnt thought of trying my own way to try to figure out just What is the best way for me to study econs. I guess i'd thank my sis for recommending me to study by writing out notes. It godamn works! haha.. Ohya.. bck to maths.. It's actually a wonderful thing to study maths.. And e sense of satisfaction u get when u understand how to solve a question and manage to solve a similar one is great too... I guess i'd say that actually stats is easier than pure maths for the exam.. but if u'd ask me to do the maths preliminary exam for other schools, i dun think i can do it.. Prelims are big killers.. haha..

As for Project work, i actually didnt really like the way it drained my energy out cuz it's really tiring.. But i like my group mates.. they're actually very nice.. sharifah.. saykiong..etc..(miss yall alot!) It was the first time in my life that I skipped school too.. HAHA. which i dun regret at all. You see, im the kind who'd feel really guilty or uneasy if i skip school without a good reason. Even if im a little sick, like flu, i wouldnt, unless it's like a really baddd sore throat that is enough to let me tell my mumzy, like 'hey mumzy, i'm sick. i dun wna go to school today.' & then drop dead on my bed. Oh anw, i skipped school because i didnt sleep on the previous night at all.. working throughout the night with 2 other pw grp members till e morning when i really couldnt be bothered no more, and felt like i was gonna get a heart attack anytime... I wonder if anyone did pw until such a pathetic state like us.. hahaha.. the results is good.. which made it all worth it.:)

Enough of academic stuff..

ok.. anw, on my blog, i only write wadever comes to my mind, there's isnt a very decent stucture cuz i dun like to draft or think too much when i write on my blog.. I'd only click on the backspace if i dun think i should publish what i've wrote..=)

Anw, 2009.

2009 was a lousy year, in e sense that it was filled with emotional turmoils.. E ups and downs was totally crazy. I'd be happy this moment and the next moment, i couldnt find a reason to smile. Often i'd feel so lonely and depressed, feeling like i had been deserted by the world, when in fact, it was often me who rejected the world. If i'd compare my sec school life with my life in J1, i'd say.. I had been mostly feeling inferior and very.. quiet? closed up? But it was different in J1. We all got to start anew in a new environment, we got the chance to be more daring.. and most importantly, be ourselves. That was SO MUCH different from sec sch years, when i kept surpressing myself, controlling myself to be what is more 'accepted', rather than who I was. It's like Taylor Swift's song, Fifteen--

"And when you're fifteen feeling like there's nothing to figure out
Well, count to ten, take it in
This is life before you know who you're gonna be
Fifteen"

But now we know better. Well the sad thing is, I didn't be myself when I was in J2. I guess it's prolly bcos it was too stressful for me, for i put lots of pressure on myself. I knew that i was fallin way behind so many, and if i didnt try harder, i wouldnt make it. There was many long periods of time i'd feel insecure, depressed. I couldnt smile naturally, couldnt See the reason why i had to smile to anyone, and no matter how much i tell myself tt i shouldnt be like that, i couldnt control myself. I guess i had offended AlOt of ppl becos of my dulan look when i dun smile. haha.. paiseh, couldnt help it man. But now im starting to get much better. It's like a emotional tornado that swept me off my feet, and now i finally pulled myself out of it. A little wounded i am, but i'll certainly be better in no time. Just like how much fun! i had when i was waiting for O level results...

Well.. It was a lil hard to walk through the journey, but after going through this year, i feel im stronger. Stronger than before.

I'd say, 2008 was a year filled with surprises, confidence and fun, and 2009 is a year that has made me stronger.

I shall put aside my worries for A level results, and some unwanted worries aside for now, and have the best time of my life. It'll be damn fun.:DDD Afterall this is life, we should live everyday like it's the last day of our lives no? ;)

Anw, I'm gonna clean my heart out of dirt and insignificant, petty stuff that's filling my soul with rubbish, and start giving it some vitamins and sunshine:) I dun want to live just for anybody, neither will i let anybody's judgments and labellings affect me so badly anymore. Afterall, I live for myself and my family, and my good friends of course! haha.. i guess we all know who are the ones who truly cares for us deep in our hearts. And these ppl are precious enough for us to cherish and care. We dun need loads of hi-bye or fake friends, even if it's only 1 or 2 good friends, it's enough ya? Let alone i have more than 5!:)

OK!!! quite enough said! haha. OH. btw, i finally made my own atm card today.. haha.. and my contact lens which i havent wear for who knows how long? noe wad? my left eye's perfect, and my right eye's 75degrees.. haha.. So i only need to buy lens for one side.. lol.. Noo.. im not wasting money.. u might be thinking tt there isnt a frigging need to buy any lens, buT! i need them.. cuz i keep having migraine these days cuz i strain my right eye too much.... serious!
haha..

Alright.. Well i feel like shopping tml.. =) random.. haha..

+*goodnight:)*+

P.S. Would it be weird if I change my name to.. Belle? or.. Ashley? haha.. just for fun! like e korean Soo Min i named myself previously.. haha.. BYE!

2009-12-26T06:05:00.003+08:00

The time is 5.48, but i'm wide awake. Feel a lil silly.

Why am i thinking about all these ppl who dun even give a damn about what happens to me? I dun wna cheat myself to think that i dun care about these ppl though i really should. lol..

Oh well.. And there's the A Level stuff that had kept me awake throughout the many hours just now, albeit my knowing that there's lesser than 3 hours left to sleep..

Psychology?
Accounting?
NUS?
NTU?
SIM?
Accounting schools?

srsly, advice me. i need lots of advices. Anw, i'm really worried about econs. Very worried. This is the most worrying exam i've taken in my life so far. I really hope i'd get at least a C. I'd jump for joy. An ABCAB is already not bad. At least i've tried my best yea? Haha.. But even if u've tried ur best, does it matter? I enjoyed the learning process, yes. but the results are equally important.

ok, i'm getting sleepy already. Goodnight, world.

I wish i can sleep under a sky filled with stars. I'd be so touched.

Cute? An uncompleted drawing of my dream house last time.. The completed one kena deleted. I want a balcony where u can have loads of space, sip tea, and enjoy the night scenaries. I'll have lamps around to make the whole place romantic. I'll have a front garden and backyard filled with beautiful flowers, a beautiful tree, swings and benches, and low fences. It'll be an open garden that welcomes anyone who wouldn't litter inside. I'll have my own secret garden at the back, it's an enclosed one with an auto(adjustable) shelter where i can have my own privacies and space. I'll have 2 cute tiny dogs.. Aww.. HaHA. I can imagine;) So magical. Haha.. i admit. i'm childish. no choice.

Bye~:)

2009-12-16T17:30:00.000+08:00

Flowers by

~Zofia-Klukowski

2009-11-26T21:58:00.000+08:00

PRETTY!

2009-11-25T20:57:00.000+08:00

Que que na-to-ra
You will understand

Listen with your heart
You will understand

Let it break upon you
Like a wave upon the sand

Listen with your heart
You will understand

2009-11-24T23:21:00.002+08:00

Northern Light composed and played by Emily Bear. It's beautiful..

In Pocahontas, it says listen with your heart, and you will understand. And it said, listen to your heart; listen to the spirit within. Should I? Succumb to fear or stand up with courage like Pocahontas.

2009-11-23T13:53:00.002+08:00

Hooray! I've finally watched Disney's Beauty and the Beast!:D Such beautiful story=)
Few days ago I had watched Mulan 1 and Mulan 2, and The Little Mermaid.. So sweet.. Gonna watch Cinderella, Lion King and the sleeping beauty and more when i have the time:)))

I've completed my exams today! Whee! Gonna meet momo and co. in an hour plus time.. So happy! Wheeeee!

2009-11-22T20:12:00.002+08:00

Herman Hesse says: Happiness is a how; not a what.A talent; not an object.

What do you think?

笑不代表高兴,

哭不代表难过,

凶不代表刚强,

柔不代表懦弱,

聪明不代表善良，

善良不代表能干。

为什么人类那么复杂？

为什么我不能简单一些？

HAIZ. Ppl are such complex animals. I guess sometimes we don't even know ourselves or what we're doing? For better, for worse, who is to say it's not for the best?

2009-11-20T20:56:00.002+08:00

Mulan=)

2009-11-20T19:18:00.004+08:00

For those who are not aware, Takopachi has vegetarian flavours too:D Corn or Pea flavour;)

Tomato soup and Garlic bread from Dhoby Gaut basement is very delicious neh!

The first fried egg that i cook by myself since a long time ago.

Anw, i'm just gonna pray hard for Econs.. Pray for me too okay? I hope to at least get a C for it.. At the very least......

1 more paper to go.. Jiayou!

2009-11-14T01:55:00.003+08:00

I can't believe there's just nine more days to go.. jiayou=)

最适合我的两个字就是 “矛盾”。

I need a recharge for my soul... I wna run around barefooted.. Feel the soil under my feet, taking pictures of the beautiful earth, spending time with myself and the nature, music, arts and fun, before i start opening my heart to anything else again. Guess i've closed my heart for quite some time, i dun even noe when it started. Whatever it is, it'll soon be over, and hopefully i'll find myself again=) I can feel it nearer now.. But with something different and newer this time.

Must we choose between heart and mind? what would you choose if it were you? What if ur heart contradicts ur mind so much, and yet the heart is what you desire, while ur mind tells you what is right and the best outcome? Talk about irony. It feels like I'm two person.

Oh well, dun worry be happy.. 船到桥头自然直..

2009-11-11T21:40:00.005+08:00

My owly theme wallpaper at night... so cute!

P.S> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.P.S> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AMY TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-11-10T21:28:00.003+08:00

A lesson a day keeps the mind awake.(and aware)

2009-11-06T23:19:00.006+08:00

By Sarah Chang

Tchaikovsky violin concerto part1

You can find the rest on youtube=)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spjSYilnUmc&feature=related

Chopin's Nocturne (Milstein) --I like this the best amongst the three.. It's perfecto. at least to me..

J.S. Bach - Air on the G String

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOVwokQnV4M&feature=related

You might not be used to her facial expressions, but it shows her emotions and feelings as she play each note on her violin. Very beautiful.=)

Note that all three videos features Sarah Chang=)

I like her more than Vanessa Mae, you can search for vanessa Mae on youtube.. She plays extremely well too.. but I dun like her aura.. Too strong, very very very confident, till she loses the benefit of being seen as humble. Sarah plays as well, but she shows her emotions more. I like to see their emotions.. Vanessa's concerts lets impresses ppl with her skills and music, but somehow, it feels abit too.. solid.. tt's just my opinion though.. go see go see~

2009-11-01T16:05:00.004+08:00

If you're free, create an igoogle page=)
http://www.google.com/ig

Try the Tea House theme with the little fox.. The fox does different things at different time:) Very cute!

2009-10-27T18:44:00.001+08:00

2009-10-26T01:08:00.001+08:00

The stars are always there=)

2009-10-23T03:18:00.001+08:00

加油。
加油。
加油。
我也要和你一样。

2009-09-22T20:29:00.001+08:00

Awesome.

2009-09-22T00:21:00.000+08:00

Optimism! must smile!: D

2009-09-16T19:27:00.002+08:00

不知道为什么最近很有过年气氛的感觉。。哈哈。。像是年头似的。。大概是天气的原因吧~ 最近的天气超级棒！=）我就是喜欢这种好天气。

***************************************************

我不会再去想那些让我难过的事，也不想去理会别人的任何一种让人心跳加速或者冷漠的眼光。因为我想我大概也受够了。仿佛我的情绪在之前的日子都不断被这些事物弄得团团转，但是我现在已经学会了。我不会再轻易地像个小孩一样相信他们的眼神，也不会再去理会那些我不想理会的眼光。

2009-09-16T00:15:00.002+08:00

Awaiting the renaissance of the Arts as an important, irreplaceable component in the system of the Singapore education.

Awaiting the day when the Arts will be recognised for the value it was truly worthed.

*************************************************

2009-09-08T00:40:00.004+08:00

这世界很大。

身边的一些人渣也不过是这世界上的一小部分而已。

或许你遇到的很巧都是人渣，

但也不必伤心、难过、绝望。

因为这世界很大，人很多。

你会遇到很好的人。

没有必要因为这些人而放弃你的纯真。

灵魂的纯洁是最宝贵的。

如果那么轻易就放弃，

那就太可惜了。

我们所看到的、所感受的，

是一种经验、一种教导。

它能让我们更了解自己是谁、要的是什么、生存的原因为了什么。

当然，悲观习惯的我，也不知道这种思想能够维持多久。

或许下一秒钟我有变成前一分钟，那冷酷的人。

但至少此时此刻我还能感觉一丝希望、一丝温柔的光。

我并不是在说其他人不好，也不是在说自己很好。

我并不觉得自己很好，反而我觉得自己不是一个好人。

双面吧。有好有坏。

虽然说，因为每个人有好有坏，我们应该包含。

但是长期的遭受失望也会让人不禁感到有些绝望。

又或许这是悲观主义者的想法吧。

可是现在开始，我并不会选择哪条捷径了。

我不会再建围墙保护自己。

而是用我所学的，做我自己，临场应付所面对的一切。

我想这样活着才算是有意义吧。

不要笑我想太多，因为只有不断地想，

我才能更坚强、我才不会在未来后悔。

哦对，这样我才能找到我想要的是什么。

2009-09-05T22:49:00.000+08:00

你能接受那永恒、残酷、无形的改变吗？

2009-09-02T13:54:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday=)
***********

I had a real great time with my besties yesterday=)
Sang our hearts out, or rather, screamed our hearts out at k garden.. lolol..
2- 8... 11 bucks.. No bad eh? haha..

Played a fool with sherlyn's scarf, had her wrapped up like mummy; crapped; laughed like a hyena; took pictures; ate peanuts(lol)... We started with Sher's ktv-must-sing: 王八蛋... hahaha.. And then all those power songs we all screamed the lyrics.. Then sang loads of songs, and ended with SHE's song.. Forgot what's its name.. i think is 美丽新世界? A positive song...

Afterwhich, momo parted with us, and e 3 os us went for Thai Express=) E dark soysauce with tofu and season beans with rice was soooo goood! I'd recommend ppl to try it=) Opened my presents there after being urged by sherlyn... haha.. They are damnn nice!! Love all the gifts i received.. I guess now i can put a cross on the bunny slippers under my "wishlist to santa".. haha.. PL got me nail polish~ damn nice! know my taste sia.. haha.. not bad ah PL.. haha.. Then Sher's prez was a pair of gorgeous crystal ear studs.. I dun dare to wear it.. haha.. It's so pretty i'm afraid i'll lose it.. Still thinking whether i should wear it to school or for special occasions, tho sher says i should wear it to school..=)

And then PL and us parted... We went to the malay bazaar at Paya Lebar... The stuffs there are rather cool....~ I think the bazaar's rather unique... The design of items is creative... Bought 3 pairs of earrings at 5bucks.. Their design's damn cool... And bought some other 零散 de stuffs too..

When we left, we took diff buses... And poor me was stuck at amk hub at 12 plus cuz no more buses to my hse.. lol.. so had to ask my dad to fetch me.. He was at bedok.. waited till going to 1... While waiting i decided to do smethng constructive and so i read my birthday cards... My friends are so damn cute.. Sent me laughing and smiling while i read it.. my bhb friends.. haha.. The cards and letter are so sweet.. love em all=)

Anw i slept at 2 plus.. sianz.. And i dreamed about myself cannot remember my notes.. so scary can.. i think abit too stressed la.. haha.. gotta go study le.. jiayou ppl=)

P.S. I've had a realisation that we must use both our mind and heart to handle situations... I've been using too much of my heart.. tt's why i keep getting hurt and upset.. lol.. Oh well.. kempateh neh..=)

2009-08-31T21:35:00.005+08:00

我在垦丁天气晴（第十六集）:

面对梦想，每个人本来就会感到恐惧、觉得自己很渺小，也

会跌倒。然后会有很长的一段时间，爬不起来。毕竟这条路

是第一次走，怎么走得好？承认失败并不可耻。

虽然很自责、很难过，可是没有关系，就好好地痛。那个痛

会带给你智慧、让你成长。等到有一天伤口好了，

你自然会知道应该要怎么做。

*****************
若不是梦想，就说，是一段人生旅途，

我想，这些话也是很对的吧。

2009-08-31T18:20:00.002+08:00

Hey ho~

These few days have been such nua days.. I got study abit la.. But feel very the nua. Nua until sibeh jialat. I'm like a gliding snake at home.. hahaha... Chatted with momo on phone for an hour just now.. We purposely drag the call for another 1min 30 sec to make it a full 1 hour call.. haha.. so lame.. Was so depressed just now.. For some reasons tt i can't say here... Oh well..
Anw, went back to school today to give e tchers e gifts... But then,we waited for damn long, cuz e teachers had celebration in hall.. I didn't even noe that j2s were supposedly invited to attend e celebration.. Communication break down... Internal DEOS... haha... wth...

Well... 18 years old... in a few hours time.. I no mood sia.
piang eh.
zzz.

18 years old, i feel like i have to be more careful with my words and actions.. Young adult? lol.. If so, must set good example for e ginnas. haha..

Tml going kboxing, jap restaurant, and retail therapy with my besties=)

I dread the arrival of thursday. :(

Anw, i have some pictures of food from pastamania and breeks in my phone.. wanna upload.. but duno how to use the lg phone leh.. like cannot connect.. haha...

I realise my language quite singlish here... Dun feel like speaking proper English here leh.. haha..

I wna shop sia... but smehow, i still feel a heavy burden of studies on my shoulders, tho not as stressed as when prelims was approaching.. lol..

Gotta go.

Just wna mention,
my resolutions for 18 yrs old:
To know myself much better,
know what i want in my life more,
and to stop letting anything ridiculous(such as other ppls' ridiculous emotions and judgements) affect my mood for more than half a day.

If not, i'm a piggy=)

Ciao~

2009-08-28T00:03:00.004+08:00

太神奇了。我姐是仙女:D 哈哈哈。。
她让我看到了新的希望。
她说:
有些琐碎的事情，我们要Filter, sift and block.不要太emotional.
面对某些不知道该用什么情绪面对的人，如果是不认识的，不直接相干的，可以装做Antenna坏掉。感觉不到。
人要主动。这个社会太现实，不同的人有不同的想法、性格和烦恼。如果你难过，不要奢望有人来安慰你，因为新加坡的社会与教育专著与数学与科学的发展。人们很容易忽略他人心灵上的需要；因而显得过于现实。要主动，要找一个你认为会了解你的情绪的人，向她倾诉。如果你认为这个人不会懂你的情绪或让你比较好受，不要想这个人倾诉，因为你会更难过。Find the right person, do the right thing, at the right time.

天啊。我都说了。这人是独一无二的。除了懒惰（她的惰性！）她其他的方面都比任何人好。
***
至于那些还在成长的小苹果。。。。唉，慢慢来吧。

2009-08-26T00:39:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, being materialistic is good. It makes ppl like me damn happy=D
But when u have too much freedom and ability to get it, the power kinda decrease yea?
Perhaps the process of yearning for something, and then finally getting it, is the best part of shopping.

I'm sooo looking forward to Saturday~:DDDDDDD

Anw, i Can'T believe that im gonna turn 18 soon. This is just so unbelievable... 18! Sounds so old! DDD:

More responsibilities in each and every aspect of life. But more freedom too..
Oh well.......

2009-08-22T00:42:00.008+08:00

Introduced by Peggy=)

不屑- 小鬼

And i realise that Kenji's songs are actually very nice..

人类要懂得保护、帮助自己。不然很容易掉入深坑。进入容易，爬出来难。

2009-08-22T00:26:00.005+08:00

爱情是把双刃刀.

不懂得用，不懂得处理，最后受伤的...是两个人。

但是，如果你放得开，或许没那么痛苦。

只不过，说得容易，做得难。
********

Yoo Bin is soo pretty~
Pretty ppl and things makes me happy=) Doesn't matter if that makes me a materialistic person.
Being non- materialistic sometimes may just be a tad too hard. Cuz ppl are too immature. Including myself. Even the softest heart can become contaminated and broken in such an environment.

2009-08-17T01:13:00.003+08:00

如果心是装满宝盒的地方，是不是把回忆之盒关上，

把感性的盒关上，心就不会痛了呢？

不要信错人。小心地打开那些小盒子。里面的宝藏真的不少。

I love this song.

2009-08-16T12:40:00.002+08:00

No more.

That will be the last tears i'll ever waste like that.
On humans, on judgements.
Now onwards, I'll be stronger. than ever.

2009-08-16T01:14:00.001+08:00

Ok, i've found the best way out.
Pray.
Have faith.
***********************
Good luck to myself.

2009-08-15T01:49:00.003+08:00

I've made up my mind.
I wouldn't stay there anymore.
I'll move on with all my courage.
Tears and disappointments won't make my faith and heart crippled.
But we've gotta learn to be smarter to protect ourselves.
To those who don't care, u just have to be natural and gentle towards it.
To those who care, cherish and love them.

****************
P.S. Kim Bum is sO cute:-)

2009-08-12T13:26:00.002+08:00

Helpless. But time will let everything fade away.

Fade away.. Real soon...
*****************
I often wonder.....
Do you hate me?
*****************

I watched one epi of e korean hana yori dango on tv.. Surprisingly it was nice=)
E female lead looks so cute when she smile..

Now i support both e taiwan version and korean version.. Sorry to say, but somehow e jap actors seem to be a turn off when i see their posters.. haha.. oops.
Played reversi online with strangers yest.. it was fun=)

2009-08-11T20:21:00.001+08:00

My spirit is back=) [!]

2009-08-08T03:50:00.001+08:00

I love my sister and my family=)

2009-08-08T00:32:00.005+08:00

"Believe in yourself"
It's really important, but people often forget about it.

I haven't smiled much recently. But i know i tried to smile. Tried; but to no avail. haha.. Can't seem to find the energy or reason to smile. Damn the stupid cycle. And it really doesn't help much with the same response to me. Showing me that u're unhappy with me too doesn't make me happier or smile or try to please u with a smile. It only makes me numb when i see displeasant response to my unhappy looks. It makes me feel more indifferent about whether anyone cares at all. Because i dun buy that.It really doesn't matter much, cuz i'm sick and tired of all these. Whatever it is, it's really none of my business. Who r u to make me feel threatened at all? Only passion and love will burn down the walls and ice that's built around my heart=)

The "Precious ones" are the loving and patient ones who would never give up on you no matter what you have done; right or wrong.

Love keeps u warm because you know they'd protect you whether u hate them or not. If u're still holding onto anyone who don't appreciate you, you should learn to love urself more and even better, break the ties with him/her. Cuz it's always the person who cares less who seemingly wins. A person like that isn't worth a single tear or even a shuddle when u get near. Not a single emotion.
-------------

Perhaps things have changed; perhaps I have changed. But it doesnt really matter.

Try melting the ice?

Till then.

2009-08-07T22:28:00.002+08:00

掉了-张惠妹

《草莓呆呆》

心疼的玫瑰
半夜还开著
找不到匆匆掉落的花蕊
回到现场却已来不及
等待任何回音都不可得
微弱的风筝
冬天里飘著
回不去手中缠线的那个
没有蓝天
又何必去飞
怎么适合
黑色笑靥掉了
雪白眼泪掉了
该出现的所有表情瞬间掉了
瞳孔没有颜色
结了冰的长河
回忆是最可怕的敌人
故事情节掉了
主角对白掉了
该属于剧中的对脚戏也掉了
胸口没有快乐
断了翅的白鸽
不枯萎的藉口全掉了
曾经唱过的歌
分享过的笑声
在心中不断拉扯
想念不能承认
偷偷擦去泪痕
冬天过了还是会很冷

OH, im so so so so so in love with Chris Daughtry. All his songs are nice~ And there goes the same for Avril Lavigne:D

I've gotten the idea that being emo can make others tired and angry of ourselves. So before any bad things happen, let's make this clear.

I dun give a hell damn on whether anyone respond to my emo entries because im just being myself. If anyone feels tired and sick of this, u have the option to ignore it. Dun come accusing me of being pretentious or causing troubles to u (due to my own emotions) if one day u think u can't stand it anymore, cuz im just gonna say you should hav myob. if u wanna care for me, care for me. u dun have the obligations to do what you're doing.

Ok? clear? anyway nth happened.. im just saying all these based on what i saw about some situations.

2009-08-06T21:35:00.003+08:00

很不小心地，最近我忘了怎么笑。换句话说，是笑不出来。
突然发现现实真的很残酷。每个人都想往上爬，最好把你踩在脚下。我无法不自卫。
似乎不笑、冷淡、麻痹就是一种保护自己的好方法。很庆幸我还有家里的温暖。
似乎从前所拥有的那些简单的温柔与单纯也随即消失。
没有感觉的话，就不会有痛。
但是，我也不是很喜欢这个样子。
有人说，拥有一样东西，就会失去一些东西。我现在是很能体会它的意思。
看起来这一点也不像我。
我想我需要的是时间和更多的温柔吧。怎么会看不到温柔的存在呢？
是不是每个人都厌倦了单纯的思想呢？
很累吧。
加油吧人类。
快快补回力气，找回笑容与单纯吧。

P.S.看了UP 3D，心情好多了。

小狐狸对王子说：本质的东西用眼睛是看不见的。

2009-08-02T12:18:00.002+08:00

Found this at jiayi's blog=)

Very nice! :DDD [minus e act cool actions.. haha!]

And these are really good too!

2009-08-02T11:54:00.002+08:00

Would you rather rely on a guy of lousy personal qualities just because you feel weak, or would you make yourself stronger by hook or by crook? I'd definitely choose the latter. Cuz such guys only brings you more troubles in the end. [Note: In case anyone becomes too sensitive, i'm not referring to anyone when i say this]
Obstacles are annoying.. nobody likes it much.. but it's what gives you the chance to learn to be stronger, no? I think it's interesting to observe how oneself changes by time due to the surroundings. Especially if e changes are unconscious initially. It's even more interesting to see how u'd grow to like e changes, even if it's e opposite of what is your original self. I see these changes taking place a little bit everyday, and i try to find some ways to alter it too.. In the process of inventing a frankenstein. Hahaha.. just kidding.. buaiz~

Sherman's Lagoon!

2009-08-01T10:07:00.003+08:00

Click the image to read!:D

2009-07-31T13:25:00.005+08:00

Mew Kitty~

So cute=)

**********************************************

Misunderstandings are hard to clear.

But I do hope that u'll look deeply into it before u decide on anything.

Pause and think thrice before u label me.

Thanks.

2009-07-28T22:22:00.000+08:00

you ren shuo,

依戀是一種惡習
戒掉了它心就不會那麼痛.

ni jue de ne?

2009-07-28T17:25:00.002+08:00

I'm sick, down wif a terrible sore throat, and fever of 38.2.. argh.
The only good thing about this is tt i can skip maths test and chinese lit test! yay!
But still... i'm doing gp tys... argh.. so hard... dno how to do sia.. or rather, i dun have the energy and mood to think hard, what with the sore throat and headache........ sia la.
but if i go and sleep i'll feel like i'm wasting time....
I've got mc for today and tml... duno whether i should still go to school....
If tml still got fever then i dun go le........

I feel like catching a movie and stop worrying or being upset about this and that... This is so sickening.

sian.

I think i've become quite materialistic... the only thing that makes me happy now is watching youtube and going for quick shopping trips(1hour) with my sis=) And she always sponsor me=D
So happy..

Ok la, go do work liao.
BYE.

2009-07-28T17:21:00.001+08:00

Wow, this cake on xiujuan's blog makes me crave for some cakey=) *slurp*

2009-07-28T00:40:00.002+08:00

There isn't any obligations or rules that says i've got to listen to you or wadever.
Srsly, i don't understand what i'm doing anymore.
Why am i wasting time on such a person like you?
I have spent enough time and efforts on maintaining this strength consuming, insensible thing that takes the shape of its surroundings.
It's not worth it.
It's time to move on, and i won't look back.
Even if i do,
I know i won't be moved.
That's all.
That's the end.
When i've become strong enough again, i'll thank you for the memories then.
But only till then.

2009-07-26T23:08:00.003+08:00

不知道为什么，我想到就觉得恶心。
好恶心。
怎么会那么恶心。
甚至比XXXX还要恶。
受不了。
想吐。
*呕吐*
无可理喻。

*************************
我觉得，外表看起来很强的人，心里其实是脆弱的。就是因为害怕才会伪装自己。可是看起来柔弱的人却往往比任何人想象的坚强。我想是因为他们能够面对现实和自己。以柔式对抗种种打击。

2009-07-26T15:39:00.002+08:00

Can you guess exactly how many 'last straws' are there when the feelings are still there?
I guess it's endless.
But well..
WELL..
Heck these last straws,
I'm gonna sprint now.

***********************

What had used to be important then, might just be insignificant now.
Doesn't matter...
doesn't matter....
Just smile and move on,
don't look back.
Don't Regret.

2009-07-26T09:40:00.001+08:00

I LOVE SOON KUAY!!!
HAHAHA.

2009-07-26T05:50:00.001+08:00

我超想到希腊旅行!

Dark Pitches

2009-07-25T11:34:00.003+08:00

It's always easy to walk inside, to fall inside those little little dark pitches.
It always takes what seem like infinite courage and strength to climb out.
But once you start to, once you're Willing to go out again, things starts to get a lil easier.

*******

I think i totally went berserk yesterday. Broke down, went mad and did all e wrong stuffs.
Wrong Wrong Wrong.
Godamnit.
I need to sleep early man.
But the funny thing is..
There doesn't seem to be sufficient time to do so.
haha..
funny...

2009-07-25T01:01:00.002+08:00

where on earth r u right now..?

2009-07-21T11:07:00.001+08:00

si bei sianz ji pua.

I'm studying CLL here in the library(using comp), and so many ppl are chatting about stuffs on facebook... I also wanna play... BUT. For the sake of.... NUS... Must PERSEVERE! BYE~!

2009-07-20T22:38:00.001+08:00

价值与人生观相近的人才能长久地一起相处。

2009-07-20T00:00:00.003+08:00

Did Jordan Chandler confess that he lied about the abuse from michael jackson?

For one moment, i thought he confessed. But i wanted to know how credible it was..
so i searched and searched for the source of the statement, and after three quart. hr, i found this article..

http://floacist.wordpress.com/2009/07/03/ffs-stop-sending-me-the-hoax-jordan-chandler-article/

Well, honestly, i didnt feel anything for Michael Jackson's death.. I'm not a huge fan of his.. I was shocked to hear about his death, yes, but tt's all..

Tt's bcuz i nv liked his looks.. He looked scary.. utterly scary..

However, after reading the many articles, I feel so sorry for him..

Whether he did abuse the kid before, we'll never know. There're too much complicacy within. However, the treatment he had received from the mass media was way too harsh and condemning than what a man could take. It does seem unforgivable if he had really done so... But if he had really done so, i'd think the root cause was his being abused by his father when he was young.Thus, his crime should be forgiven.

Instead, he had to go thru the torture and treatment from the mass media which by its nature caters to the sadistic cravings of people to hear about obscene stuffs and mockeries. Well, had he been an ordinary man, i feel that the punishments for such a mistake would have been much lighter compared to what he did.
I mean.. At least, as an "ordinary" man, anyone who'd committed a crime or whatsoever would at least be given a chance to turn over a new leaf. But he's not. As a superstar, he cannot confess if he did. he have to choose to deny, whether he wanted to, or not. This is just one factor... There're definitely more reasons as to why his "punishment" was too much even for a man who really am a paedophile.. (i'm not saying MJ is one.. I'm just saying "IF" he was one.)

Well, but if he's wrongfully accused, such a sin committed by the chandlers-- the pain inflicted upon such a man's painful soul would be unestimated.

Whatever it is... I wanna say:

R.I.P. Michael Jackson,
my condolences to his fans;
wishing you the best from the bottom of my heart.

P/S I hope the truth of the case would be revealed one day... Tho it's seemingly impossible.

2009-07-19T00:18:00.002+08:00

So many things to do!
I havent contacted PL and mo for uber godamn long time...
Everyone's busy like Whoo~.. Well well.... Less than a 100 days!
AHHH~~

P.S. Wish u were here to talk to me, like u used to.

2009-07-16T20:23:00.001+08:00

对于那件事，我总是觉得是我自己的错，是我太残忍。
不过，现在我明白了。
那不是任何人的错。
Things were just not meant to be.

=)

2009-07-15T22:04:00.001+08:00

我不想忘记你- 郭静

爱将我们高高举起以后
再让心学会坠落
怀念这宽阔的天空
虽然那里空气很稀薄

我努力想起你笑着哭泣
让自己深爱你再学会放弃
我不想忘记你
就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你苦也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定
虽然艰辛
我不说对不起

*************

这世界上只有我们自己会永远爱自己。
没其他人了。
真的。

2009-07-14T19:16:00.002+08:00

99 Days! Oh goD!

*******************
It's always hard to start smiling again when you feel you've lost the purpose and meaning to smile.

But it's so much easier once you take the first step out.

For life should be filled with genuine smiles, courage and comforts, be there a reason or not.

*******************

=)

P/S Dying from fatigue tho. Haha... O.O

2009-07-13T20:52:00.002+08:00

Somehow, someway, the _______ is often pulled into those tensions that exist between those people. This is a sensitive issue so i shall not say much. But srsly, 清者自清，只要问心无愧就好。 I know it's quite pointless to phrase like that.. But im afraid that if i mention the name there may be more unrests. hopefully not. When will people stop killing themselves?

2009-07-11T18:24:00.001+08:00

The core reason behind being philosophical is to protect and defend oneself.

waddya think?

2009-07-11T18:02:00.000+08:00

"What Love is to Kids."

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of four through eight year olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way."

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love."

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs."

"Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don’t yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings."

"Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired."

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."

"Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."

"When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you’re scared they won’t love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more."

"There are two kinds of love: Our love and God’s love. But God makes both kinds of them."

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore."

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."

"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken."

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."

"I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her."

"Love cards like Valentine’s cards say stuff on them that we’d like to say ourselves, but we wouldn’t be caught dead saying."

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you"

"You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

Wahpiang! my icecream!!

2009-07-11T15:36:00.002+08:00

You know how it felt when u were young and ur icecream dropped onto the floor and you felt so upset? haha..

Well, i was scooping ice cream just now.. and being the violent me, i exerted too much force on the sppon which then acted like a lever, flipping the ice cream onto the wall and then onto the floor. *gulp*

And the worse thing is it's Hagen Daz ice cream. *pulls hair*

haha. ok.. enuff drama..

wahpiang.. it's terrible... Cuz hagen daz belgium chocolate ice cream has got to be the Best ice cream in the world man. You should try it too!

=)