Told my boss I'd work till the end of this month.. He is the NICEST boss I've ever met(Not that i have had alot of bosses) But yea, u get what i mean:) I'm sort of in a dilemma.. I wna work but i'm sick of working.. But after reading some biographies, i feel like challenging myself to earn more money for the company through some new experiments.. I'm actually a very ironic person.. Or is everyone like that..? e.g. I'm confident, yet insecure. Dno what's wrong with me either.. I'm a very independent person(at least to a large extent), yet i'm very dependent on ppl, in a sense that sometimes i need ppl's recognisions and approvals when i do something. Sometimes this can be tiring. It can be good in a way whereby i'm polite to ppl and i know the basic ways to treat ppl. dun be surprised that nowadays not much ppl noes how to treat others with basic courtesy anymore, let alone go the extra mile without being asked to do so. In my opinion, this society is very much self-centred and self-contradictory. The way i have become moulded by this society is NEgative. U dun feel happy and great if u dun have ur own mindset and thinking AND the ability to open ur mind to listen to others' opinions at a neutral stand. i dun noe. i just feel that it'd be a disaster to leave ur fate in the hands of the society cuz ppl are selfish and u won't get what u want even if u worked hard for it, unless u do it smart. Well, anyway, i hope i'm on the right track towards my life destination now. There're afew obstacles in my sight right now which i'm sure i haVe to get rid if i want to breakthrough this vicious cycle in front of me. but it's gna hurt if i'm gna throw this away. It's like asking a rich woman to throw away her precious diamond in order to grant her a wish that would be better for her life. HAH. what an analogy. whatever. something like that.. I remember the days in J1 when everything were new, and i could be myself, and everything were good,& ppl were nice. I loved it. i could do what i want and i even stepped out of my comfort zone to host for afew events.. where some were mediocre performances, and some were fantastic. Wish I'd have the chance to live such a life again. Maybe i should open up my mind and sort out what i want again.


Soliloquy:
*******Slowly we recognize and some sorta know who will be there for long, no matter what happens. let's be contented with what we have, even if it weren't expected; even if part of the truth hurts. cuz this is life and reality. Don't let someone else's heck care become a burden on ur shoulders, cos they dun even care in the first place ya?*********