Monday, October 18, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
有时候我会讨厌自己.. 为什么不爱说话? 为什么常常让人误会自己? 不过今天突然发觉, 我就是我自己, 试着避免误会的产生是重要的.. 但是有些无法撇清的事情, 我虽然有努力地原谅和安慰自己, 但是还是没办法完全原谅自己的愚蠢.. 但是我知道我是个怎样的人.. 只要有更多的时间, 我想这些误会一定会化解的.. 所以我不要那么苛责自己.. 也不要因此封闭自己的灵魂.. 因为他们认为的都只是在搞不清楚状况的情形下做出的判断.. 要是被过去捆绑着, 就会容易失去现在.. 那现在就变成以后的遗憾.. 这样持续下去.. 一生不都是遗憾吗？ 我不会允许自己创造自己的悲剧的.. 犯错没关系.. 要学.. 最讨厌犯同样的错误..
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
I wanna change my hairstyle.. haha.. but dunno should change until what kind lei? haha..
Cut it shorter? Or highlight a little? haha.. Should I perm my hair? Or should I try out those hairstyles tt's longer in front and shorter at the back? Opinions pls? Or maybe I should just let it grow until really long and then perm it.. haha.. Maybe the last one hor? Since I've been cutting it the previous months..
Anw, today is National Day! So, Happy Birthday Singapore!~ I love you, Singapore!:D
I honestly feel that I'm very fortunate to be borned in Singapore.. There's a great emphasis on education, we put racial harmony on a high note, and there're progressions in many areas like technology, medical and fashion and all.. And the peace that we own here in SG is really something we ought to be proud of.. But of course, as we've always been reminded of, we can't take all these for granted.. The People is one of our greatest resources, and so if we take things for granted; ain't responsible for our speech &actions, or rely too much on the government or others for their own progressions, I guess we'd be progressing at a really slow rate, or perhaps, could we be even falling backwards?
But all in all, I'm elated that this is Singapore's 45th Birthday, and I hope everyone of us Singaporeans, PRs and foreigners would rejoice and feel proud of Singapore. :)
Our people's put in so much and we've come so far.. So let's celebrate today whether u're at home watching the parade on tv, or outside enjoying yourself~
Happy 45th Birthday Singapore! *Loves*
xoxo,
Boonie
Cut it shorter? Or highlight a little? haha.. Should I perm my hair? Or should I try out those hairstyles tt's longer in front and shorter at the back? Opinions pls? Or maybe I should just let it grow until really long and then perm it.. haha.. Maybe the last one hor? Since I've been cutting it the previous months..
Anw, today is National Day! So, Happy Birthday Singapore!~ I love you, Singapore!:D
I honestly feel that I'm very fortunate to be borned in Singapore.. There's a great emphasis on education, we put racial harmony on a high note, and there're progressions in many areas like technology, medical and fashion and all.. And the peace that we own here in SG is really something we ought to be proud of.. But of course, as we've always been reminded of, we can't take all these for granted.. The People is one of our greatest resources, and so if we take things for granted; ain't responsible for our speech &actions, or rely too much on the government or others for their own progressions, I guess we'd be progressing at a really slow rate, or perhaps, could we be even falling backwards?
But all in all, I'm elated that this is Singapore's 45th Birthday, and I hope everyone of us Singaporeans, PRs and foreigners would rejoice and feel proud of Singapore. :)
Our people's put in so much and we've come so far.. So let's celebrate today whether u're at home watching the parade on tv, or outside enjoying yourself~
Happy 45th Birthday Singapore! *Loves*
xoxo,
Boonie
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Hey hey blogger~~ sorry i hadnt spent time here for quite some time><
u can put the blame on fb and my new need for higher privacy, which led to my starting to write in a diary..
You know, I've finally found the joy of writing in a diary. Last time when i tried to write in a diary, e attempts all didnt last.. cos e diarys are too cute and i have to control my handwriting when i write on a nice piece of paper so tt i won't spoil it(tho e handwriting's still messy. HA.).. Or else it'd be tt i didnt really understand the principle tt u've got to write it in ur own style, ur own creative way, and not forcing urself to write in the format of those novel diaries and all...(which i cldn't grasp previously) But anw e joy of writing a diary is tt u can organise and understand ur thoughts better, and u don't have to restrict urself so much on what u write, cuz it's ur own book and u dun have to care about how others look at u. Recently i feel tt my thoughts are getting more clear and calm.. less childish too.. i feel.. and i think it's a pretty good thing..
I guess working is a really good thing too.. U get to learn more experiences; see realism and the act of human nature, and different ppl handling different situations on hand differently, be it tricky or not. BUT. the bad thing is i feel im slowly losing touch with ENGLISH. oh no. oh dear. tt's bad tt's bad. Better start reading up!
Oh yea, and recently im also in love with English romance kinda songs like Stars.. And these 2 words popped up in my mind while i was listening to my music on the streets today.. Here it goes..
"Hopelessly Romantic"
maybe i heard it somewhere in my life but can't remb whr i heard it from.. But well, it's a perfect combination tt emits a kind of light somehow(: Sweeet. I like;)
OK. ~ tt's all folks!~
HAHA.
love,
boonie
u can put the blame on fb and my new need for higher privacy, which led to my starting to write in a diary..
You know, I've finally found the joy of writing in a diary. Last time when i tried to write in a diary, e attempts all didnt last.. cos e diarys are too cute and i have to control my handwriting when i write on a nice piece of paper so tt i won't spoil it(tho e handwriting's still messy. HA.).. Or else it'd be tt i didnt really understand the principle tt u've got to write it in ur own style, ur own creative way, and not forcing urself to write in the format of those novel diaries and all...(which i cldn't grasp previously) But anw e joy of writing a diary is tt u can organise and understand ur thoughts better, and u don't have to restrict urself so much on what u write, cuz it's ur own book and u dun have to care about how others look at u. Recently i feel tt my thoughts are getting more clear and calm.. less childish too.. i feel.. and i think it's a pretty good thing..
I guess working is a really good thing too.. U get to learn more experiences; see realism and the act of human nature, and different ppl handling different situations on hand differently, be it tricky or not. BUT. the bad thing is i feel im slowly losing touch with ENGLISH. oh no. oh dear. tt's bad tt's bad. Better start reading up!
Oh yea, and recently im also in love with English romance kinda songs like Stars.. And these 2 words popped up in my mind while i was listening to my music on the streets today.. Here it goes..
"Hopelessly Romantic"
maybe i heard it somewhere in my life but can't remb whr i heard it from.. But well, it's a perfect combination tt emits a kind of light somehow(: Sweeet. I like;)
OK. ~ tt's all folks!~
HAHA.
love,
boonie
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Instead of saying outloud how i feel right at this moment, how do you think i should feel right now, waking up in the middle of the night at 4.29, staring at the screen in the chilling wind in my kitchen.
Idk, i actually woke up from a nightmare.. but that led some unhappy memories to my mind.. well, what can i say, this type of timing is just perfect for such memories to visit.
Well, i'd say, i've always been the type of person who'd try my best to get something that i want if i really really want it. Not to the extent that it'd be foolishly hurting someone, but the largest extent would be what i say fair competition irregardless of any other points.
Maybe you don't know what i'm talking about cuz it sounds too jumbled and complicated.. Putting it straight, let's just say for example if there's a guy that i really really like, i'd put away my dignity and 'chase' after this person until i get an answer that i want. even if things are complicated, like for example there's another girl who also happens to be a closefriend to this guy and likes him too. this is called fair competition. and of course i dun do these things without thinking it through. So long as the strong emotions and my determinations are present, i'd let myself go through what needs to be gone through to reach my destination even though i know it might (or would definitely) hurt myself in the process, or that it could end badly in a sense that things would be awkward. Just because i dun like to let things that i cherish to go past my life without putting in my best efforts to make it stay. And if i know that someone isn't suitable for me, i wouldnt delay his time, no, cos it wouldn't be fair for him, and i wouldnt want someone who likes me to be more miserable if i let question marks to be dragged on. it's selfish. this is me; very stubborn. i guess it's both good an bad. haha, what am i talking about. yes, everything has its own qualities and bad points yup.
Oh yea, but right now recalling these bad memories that's falling down from the sky like snowflakes is just plain painful. but hah! i chose it; i made these decisions in the past, and i remember me telling myself clearly that even if things doesnt work out the way i want it to be, i shouldnt be unhappy, and i should let go of it like letting sands fall from my hand; allowing it to be gone with the wind of fate and moving on happily becos i know i've tried.
this is what i want to tell the ppl whom it may concern in these fragments of memories:
Memory 1: I'm sorry; but i hate you too.
Memory 2: I'm sorry; i was just having problems with my confidence back then. it wasnt an attitude against you or anything. i know i've hurt you, i'm sorry& i didnt mean to do it. like i said, i wouldnt want someone who likes me to be hurt.
Memory 3: Were you just treating things in life a game? I dun like to play games, sorry. I had loved you, but now i see things clear, and i hate you.
Memory 4: I dun know what made me did these, but i guess it could be the strong emotions. I'd say, if time turns back, i'd nv have joined the club and make myself miserable like shit; spending my time and energy on something as useless as this. maybe i could have done better in As without this crapshit. i think i was like blind or something.
Memory 5: Sorry, it's not any of your faults, i admit it now. I'm angry, but i'm in fact angry with just my foolish self. i shouldnt have let appearances affect my own confidence, or i should have done something to save myself from the crapshits instead of seein myself literally falling helplessly. You know why i love JC the most amongst pri, sec and college? In primary school, we get pushed around by ppl because of our own innocence and fears. In secondary school we get pushed around by certain* people because we care too much for the wrong things; because of pressure, and because of inconfidence. In college, it's a brand new environment, and we get to start anew with life. it all began happily, until J2 when things started to go downhill, with all the problems clashing down at one frigging go. My own sudden lack of confidence that made me feel like redrawing from everyone; problems with friends; problems with studies.. I guess these are enough to drain myself spiritually. & i guess my changes were rather obvious.
Memory 6: What did u mean? i don't understand at all.. But nonetheless, thank you for the fragments of happy memories..:) and i'm sorry for some things too.
Sometimes i kinda don't understand myself.. sometimes it just feels like everything is your own fault. But after thinking through the stuffs once more, you'd know that, No! it's not like it's all your damn fault. you don't have to be so harsh with yourself. girl, it's like you're blaming yourself for all the things that went wrong.. when things shouldnt be like that at all. sure, u are partly at fault, but u've blamed yourself enough, even more than how much you should. what can we do now that all's said and done. So yea, it's time to move on with the white christmases. haha.. and don't be so foolish next time. Be resilient, and be practical with solutions, and be clear minded. haha. 当局者迷，旁观者清。医人比医自己困难。有时候我知道自己在无理取闹，但是当下可能其实我只是想要我在乎的人多关心一下我。虽然这种无理取闹的情绪带来的问题比安慰多。但算了。随风去吧。
Idk, i actually woke up from a nightmare.. but that led some unhappy memories to my mind.. well, what can i say, this type of timing is just perfect for such memories to visit.
Well, i'd say, i've always been the type of person who'd try my best to get something that i want if i really really want it. Not to the extent that it'd be foolishly hurting someone, but the largest extent would be what i say fair competition irregardless of any other points.
Maybe you don't know what i'm talking about cuz it sounds too jumbled and complicated.. Putting it straight, let's just say for example if there's a guy that i really really like, i'd put away my dignity and 'chase' after this person until i get an answer that i want. even if things are complicated, like for example there's another girl who also happens to be a closefriend to this guy and likes him too. this is called fair competition. and of course i dun do these things without thinking it through. So long as the strong emotions and my determinations are present, i'd let myself go through what needs to be gone through to reach my destination even though i know it might (or would definitely) hurt myself in the process, or that it could end badly in a sense that things would be awkward. Just because i dun like to let things that i cherish to go past my life without putting in my best efforts to make it stay. And if i know that someone isn't suitable for me, i wouldnt delay his time, no, cos it wouldn't be fair for him, and i wouldnt want someone who likes me to be more miserable if i let question marks to be dragged on. it's selfish. this is me; very stubborn. i guess it's both good an bad. haha, what am i talking about. yes, everything has its own qualities and bad points yup.
Oh yea, but right now recalling these bad memories that's falling down from the sky like snowflakes is just plain painful. but hah! i chose it; i made these decisions in the past, and i remember me telling myself clearly that even if things doesnt work out the way i want it to be, i shouldnt be unhappy, and i should let go of it like letting sands fall from my hand; allowing it to be gone with the wind of fate and moving on happily becos i know i've tried.
this is what i want to tell the ppl whom it may concern in these fragments of memories:
Memory 1: I'm sorry; but i hate you too.
Memory 2: I'm sorry; i was just having problems with my confidence back then. it wasnt an attitude against you or anything. i know i've hurt you, i'm sorry& i didnt mean to do it. like i said, i wouldnt want someone who likes me to be hurt.
Memory 3: Were you just treating things in life a game? I dun like to play games, sorry. I had loved you, but now i see things clear, and i hate you.
Memory 4: I dun know what made me did these, but i guess it could be the strong emotions. I'd say, if time turns back, i'd nv have joined the club and make myself miserable like shit; spending my time and energy on something as useless as this. maybe i could have done better in As without this crapshit. i think i was like blind or something.
Memory 5: Sorry, it's not any of your faults, i admit it now. I'm angry, but i'm in fact angry with just my foolish self. i shouldnt have let appearances affect my own confidence, or i should have done something to save myself from the crapshits instead of seein myself literally falling helplessly. You know why i love JC the most amongst pri, sec and college? In primary school, we get pushed around by ppl because of our own innocence and fears. In secondary school we get pushed around by certain* people because we care too much for the wrong things; because of pressure, and because of inconfidence. In college, it's a brand new environment, and we get to start anew with life. it all began happily, until J2 when things started to go downhill, with all the problems clashing down at one frigging go. My own sudden lack of confidence that made me feel like redrawing from everyone; problems with friends; problems with studies.. I guess these are enough to drain myself spiritually. & i guess my changes were rather obvious.
Memory 6: What did u mean? i don't understand at all.. But nonetheless, thank you for the fragments of happy memories..:) and i'm sorry for some things too.
Sometimes i kinda don't understand myself.. sometimes it just feels like everything is your own fault. But after thinking through the stuffs once more, you'd know that, No! it's not like it's all your damn fault. you don't have to be so harsh with yourself. girl, it's like you're blaming yourself for all the things that went wrong.. when things shouldnt be like that at all. sure, u are partly at fault, but u've blamed yourself enough, even more than how much you should. what can we do now that all's said and done. So yea, it's time to move on with the white christmases. haha.. and don't be so foolish next time. Be resilient, and be practical with solutions, and be clear minded. haha. 当局者迷，旁观者清。医人比医自己困难。有时候我知道自己在无理取闹，但是当下可能其实我只是想要我在乎的人多关心一下我。虽然这种无理取闹的情绪带来的问题比安慰多。但算了。随风去吧。
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Today's a fine day~ Not really in terms of weather! but in terms of mood and all.. Went out with Maira to Orchard.. We were looking for Cathay Cineleisure.. But were unsure of its location haha.. Orchard-痴.. But we saw the Shaw house so anw we went there.. Initially tot there werent anymore 'Remember Me' movie.. but turned out Shaw house was still playing it:D So we bought the 2.15 tickets.. It was only 1++ when we reached the place.. So we chatted and got some bubble tea while waiting.. Each -a-cup's bubble tea is sUper sweeet can.. i didnt manage to finish it.. and the pearls were SupEr chewy.. too chewy for me.. haha..
And so we the time passed and we went for the movie.. My rating for the movie.... 1.5Stars.. haha.. My god the movie was boring. hahaha.. except for the last part that made me cry.. the rest was... like.. no climax.... haha.. Maira was rather interested in Shutter Island which i think is SCARY. haha.. by leonardo dicarprio.. well anw.. back to the movie.. I was rather restless thruout.. haha.. but well.. managed to sit thru it! i tot i'd cry for the movie.. and indeed i did.. luckily i wiped off my eyeliner b4 entering the cinema.. cuz it's non-waterproof.. haha..
Later we went shopping~She bought a top, while I bought some stockings and a wallet from Mango:D A brown leather wallet.. haha.. shall show some pics below.. first time buy stuff from mango.. wakakaka.. >:D abit Sua Gu. HAHA. oh well.
Btw, i'm rewatching... Totoro!:D
__THISRES__76018.jpg)
Super CUTE. my next fav after inuyasha^^ Dun wry.. i still love inuyasha:D
Gdnight~ tml there's work. boo.. nvm.. i'm working till end of this month onlY.~~
And so we the time passed and we went for the movie.. My rating for the movie.... 1.5Stars.. haha.. My god the movie was boring. hahaha.. except for the last part that made me cry.. the rest was... like.. no climax.... haha.. Maira was rather interested in Shutter Island which i think is SCARY. haha.. by leonardo dicarprio.. well anw.. back to the movie.. I was rather restless thruout.. haha.. but well.. managed to sit thru it! i tot i'd cry for the movie.. and indeed i did.. luckily i wiped off my eyeliner b4 entering the cinema.. cuz it's non-waterproof.. haha..
Later we went shopping~She bought a top, while I bought some stockings and a wallet from Mango:D A brown leather wallet.. haha.. shall show some pics below.. first time buy stuff from mango.. wakakaka.. >:D abit Sua Gu. HAHA. oh well.
Btw, i'm rewatching... Totoro!:D
__THISRES__76018.jpg)
Super CUTE. my next fav after inuyasha^^ Dun wry.. i still love inuyasha:DGdnight~ tml there's work. boo.. nvm.. i'm working till end of this month onlY.~~
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Told my boss I'd work till the end of this month.. He is the NICEST boss I've ever met(Not that i have had alot of bosses) But yea, u get what i mean:) I'm sort of in a dilemma.. I wna work but i'm sick of working.. But after reading some biographies, i feel like challenging myself to earn more money for the company through some new experiments.. I'm actually a very ironic person.. Or is everyone like that..? e.g. I'm confident, yet insecure. Dno what's wrong with me either.. I'm a very independent person(at least to a large extent), yet i'm very dependent on ppl, in a sense that sometimes i need ppl's recognisions and approvals when i do something. Sometimes this can be tiring. It can be good in a way whereby i'm polite to ppl and i know the basic ways to treat ppl. dun be surprised that nowadays not much ppl noes how to treat others with basic courtesy anymore, let alone go the extra mile without being asked to do so. In my opinion, this society is very much self-centred and self-contradictory. The way i have become moulded by this society is NEgative. U dun feel happy and great if u dun have ur own mindset and thinking AND the ability to open ur mind to listen to others' opinions at a neutral stand. i dun noe. i just feel that it'd be a disaster to leave ur fate in the hands of the society cuz ppl are selfish and u won't get what u want even if u worked hard for it, unless u do it smart. Well, anyway, i hope i'm on the right track towards my life destination now. There're afew obstacles in my sight right now which i'm sure i haVe to get rid if i want to breakthrough this vicious cycle in front of me. but it's gna hurt if i'm gna throw this away. It's like asking a rich woman to throw away her precious diamond in order to grant her a wish that would be better for her life. HAH. what an analogy. whatever. something like that.. I remember the days in J1 when everything were new, and i could be myself, and everything were good,& ppl were nice. I loved it. i could do what i want and i even stepped out of my comfort zone to host for afew events.. where some were mediocre performances, and some were fantastic. Wish I'd have the chance to live such a life again. Maybe i should open up my mind and sort out what i want again.
Soliloquy:
*******Slowly we recognize and some sorta know who will be there for long, no matter what happens. let's be contented with what we have, even if it weren't expected; even if part of the truth hurts. cuz this is life and reality. Don't let someone else's heck care become a burden on ur shoulders, cos they dun even care in the first place ya?*********
Soliloquy:
*******Slowly we recognize and some sorta know who will be there for long, no matter what happens. let's be contented with what we have, even if it weren't expected; even if part of the truth hurts. cuz this is life and reality. Don't let someone else's heck care become a burden on ur shoulders, cos they dun even care in the first place ya?*********
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